MFA.

Why does mankind not cease at creating more and more works of literature? Why are the extant ones not enough? Why are there new plays produced as well as those new renditions of old ones? Why are there new movies done? And, on top of everything, it's all intangible, all elusive in its nature, it can never be kept for longer than it lasts itself... The rite has to be repeated, cultivated, taken care about and it requires much effort and dedication and time. People have been less and less time-savy lately. Because this is why life with higher ambtions and motives, the life of a self-actualizing man is like. Even if that means a life full of the pursuit after the elusive.

Countenance of Ignorance.

Indeed, he is ignorant. So ignorant in his very presence, so ignorant towards other beings. Perhaps, it should be of no wonder that I can't get in, can't surpass this [his] firewall. All things not only seem but are too cutsey to him, I surmise... That's the only explanation I can come up with. Poor might he comment on it, but that would only be so him.

Philia.

I had a dream. A dream which brought about the weirdest crush. I have been projecting, or gaging is a more suitable word, that crush for a few days now. Then, it came as no surprise to me that I felt it even more, even more profound afer I woke up from the dream [using 'this' or 'the' is of no difference to you since you do not distinguish between them and are indiffrent to those two]. The point is, despite the fact that the dream has already wafted away there are still feelings left unturn. Strong feelings which I rewind and play [in my very prive plaja] and expereince them time and time again anytime I desire to. Even though they are only night hallucinations as one might say they're enough, for they are feelings too. What else are RL encounters if not feelings, the imprints on senses, engravements on psyche. The power of mind is never to be underestimated.

Monochrome.

N it showered and drizzled all day. Will anyone tell me why did I managed my online presence so carefully? Well, there is something in it, you could tell. The more active I was becoming, the more impression I wanted to exert [up]on that somebody. These days, my only ponder-make issue was 'how to initiate contact', 'how to initiate it so that it be successful'. And I will have been trying to make it happen by going out of my way the entire rainy day today. We'll see what the fate will bring. To sum that day up, al least it will be a monochrome ride back across the city.

I AM ME. He is mine. We are ourselves.

Every time I met somebody I had a tendency of going surpassing myself. Tried my best to impress that person with my appearance, knowledge, words I used. The time has passed and I have learnt immensely from the hands-on experience I collected throughout. The clothes turned out to be too showy, too over the top hence intimidating and connection blocking. Knowledge, thou everyone seems to boast some, never is comparable and I takes a mass amount of time to arrive at a scrap of common ground [if not manipulated]; additionally, it goes without saying that in order to get to a person s/he needs time to process the data and really, genuinely approves and authorises you as a person whom s/he can trust, as sb to talk to on an equally same level and, least but God save me not lest, sb to respect. Then, there is no use of striving since it, from the very beginning, will be doomed to failure. When it comes to words, well, there is a significant decrease of high flown words which amount up to more than 3 syllables use among people of my age. Sadly.

Scary Monsters and Nice Spirits.

Why drill into your mind the hard stuff? So that the light load will acquire some sense. Otherwise, it's a short way to an epic decline of both, the soft, easy-peasy stuff and your good mood. It surely is an illusion created for the purpose of well-being that easy stuff [i.e., that which quickly induces a good mood] is enough and everything a person needs for having a great, easy, carefree life. What the old saying recommends to subscribe to is of no coincidence either: one should fill one's life with the larger stones first, then the smaller ones plus the sand grains to go at the very end. Even the secondary order has not been left to chance. Still, the lesser, they gain invincible superiority over the hard ones owing to their ease of acquisition, smoothness of a peculiar kind. Never do they reach mental hights; all they are capable of achieving is a.) via drugs b.) a mere [fake] illusion of what sober, fully-fleged and developed mind can bring. What can secure the fullest experience of reality the offline or the alternative [thoug still an idependent one, remember!], the sub or purely conscious is that what what you yourself have achieved by means of hard word. For the power of mind needs time and effort in order to spread wings and in its very nature it is so tricky and whimsy as to make it even more difficult an unattainable to get to the point one wishes his/her aim to be. Having attained that, having made my aims a success I can easily say I laugh in the face of all the others who nevertheless tend to believe, tend to fall into the precipce of fake happiness and oblivion.

Bebop Revisited.

What does it take to embark on staring at a person for quite a long time each day literally? Well, the answer remains to be seen in somewhat hazy future. Does such platonic admiration lead anywhere? I could analyze his physiognomy during minutes-long sessions; only my piercing stare and him.